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下午半天假一晃就过去了，无聊间看到一篇文章：岁月凶残，敬请珍惜

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岁月凶残，敬请珍惜

——得知早已不能过五四节时之随想

本来是没有这篇博客的，但是昨天在天涯中看到一篇名叫《看了“五四”放假半天的新闻，我却哭了》的文章，我突然才发现，自己一直以为还算年青的人，却已经渡过了中年期的好几年了。岁月很凶残呀。

掐指一算，今天正好是我结婚三周年，也正好是我儿子出生满三月（其实差一天，小遗憾ing）。作为程序员群中的年龄上的老大哥，我就给那些将要在五月四日休息半天的技术朋友们写点什么吧。

还是和往常一样，先需要声明，本文更适合那些专注技术，无太多空闲的未婚男，而不是天天可以花天酒地的PlayBoy。如果您是后者，点击浏览器上的“后退”是不错的选择。

工  作

在青年时期强调工作的重要，这无可厚非。毕竟年青时候都不认真工作，难道你还指望到我这样的中年才去玩命吗。

时常都会看到网上搞技术的朋友们整天在抱怨工资低，加班多等等，其实扪心自问，有多少人是每天八小时全心全力在认真工作的。我看到过太多的朋友上班 时聊QQ或MSN，看论坛或视频，甚至游戏电影进行时。并不是说工作期间不需要休息，适当的放松将会更有利于工作的完成，不过在上班时做了太多这些与工作 无关的事，其实就是在浪费你28岁之前那宝贵的青春，因为岁月很凶残，容不得你太多喘息。（嗨，在写这篇博客时，也占用了部分的工作时间，说说容易，以身 作则也很难呀。）

工作认真当然一方面是对得起老板上司，但另一方面也是对得起自己。我想不会有任何一个老板喜欢上班不认真工作的员工，而现在来说，真正非常认真工作的员工不是太多，而是太少了。因为专注，或者说是认真态度会让你在技术上，在能力上更加强憾，也会让你的人格更加有魅力。

我不太赞成太多的跳槽，年青时还是多多学点东西为好。在简历里如果写不出在任何一家公司待的时间超过一年，那真是你的悲哀，如果不是你心态的问题，那就只能说是你运气的问题，你应该去想任何办法转转运。
多多向人请教没有什么可耻，连我这大把年纪还时常向旁边一个小我9岁的同事请教技术问题，你难道就不可以向他人请教？三人电脑前，必有我师焉。学习应该是随时随地，而不一定非要在课堂。

多多读点好书，这里的多不一定是数量的多，而更多是学到的知识的多。读书问题可参看我的另一篇博客《关于阅读技术类图书的思考》。

恋  爱

在28岁之前让自己的至少恋爱一次应该不为过吧，虽然你会说工作忙，没时间，或者再来句：“匈奴未灭，何以家为”。但是岁月凶残，在本该恋爱的年龄却没有品尝爱情的滋味，实在不是好事。

关于如何恋爱，有太多的论述，我也不是爱情专家。我只想谈谈做技术的朋友，在恋爱上可以注意的地方。
不知道是什么时候，“IT男==无趣男”了，在上海，“张江男”成为不浪漫的光棍代名词。这实在是太糟糕了，以偏概全，冤枉之极。其实，做技术的朋友，同样有很多优势可以利用的。

优势一，电脑专家

比如，我在《小菜编程成长记》中提到过的修电脑。现在MM家中基本都有电脑，但真正可以把自己的电脑收拾得服服帖帖的，其实很少。不是中病毒，就是 系统慢，不是某个游戏装不上，就是哪个东西打不开。反正电脑问题，将是所有MM都要面临的头痛问题。据我所知，那些只会成天打游戏的GameBoy，别的 不会，装机可是一级拿手。难道你连程序都能写好，搞定一台电脑，让它更安全和稳定的在MM手中运行不是一件很有益的事吗。另外可以时常去MM家蹭饭哦，一 举多得。甚至说得极端点，连电脑都不会修，你这个男友还要来有啥用。当然，只会修还不算本事，你的目标应该是电脑专家，时常能为MM的电脑提供增值服务。 比如MM要学英语，你要能马上找一个甚至开发一个完全符合她需求的背单词软件，MM想淘宝上买东西，你马上去往支付宝存钱等。哈，这样说就没底了。但如果 你还不是一个称职的电脑医生，抓紧吧。

优势二，利用IT资源和技术展现

数码相机，数码摄像机，随手可得的音乐，各种多媒体软件，已经可以让你即使没有艺术细胞也能做出非常好的作品。MM生日礼物，只会送花，实在是太简 单和不浪漫了吧。制作加了音乐的Flash相册，或者利用AJAX、Silverlight或Flex技术搞个MM的个性网站，做点特效，都是很有点小浪 漫的做法。我记得我在五年前，就想到把老婆（当时正在追求时）的照片PS过后，去专业的商店将其印在了交通卡的正反面，作为情人节礼物送给她。在她生日 时，送她一个MP3机里，并在当中录了一段深情表白的话。在某个纪念日转发给她一条短信，是她当年曾经发给我的比较暧昧的短信，然后再拿出当年同一天时看 电影的票根，回忆本身就会制造浪漫。这些都能达到了很好的效果。我的招其实还很多，不过由于不是用在老婆身上的，所以不提也罢。只要花心思，总是会有很多 办法想出来的。我从不认为技术人就不能浪漫，浪漫需要的不是天分或技巧，而是激情和创意。

另外，学会发挥特长也是很重要的。比如说我，2000年那时没有博客，我就自己做个人主页，然后写点风花雪月的文章（见伍迷随想冷饭集），动机自然 很明显，效果当然也很明显。其实我的文笔应该算很普通的，不过如果脑子里想着要让心仪的MM看的，文章自然就行云流水，只要能让MM看后笑笑，目的就达到 了。

做事前做足准备也是必须的，比如说，如果是想约MM打羽毛球，你至少应该提前十天半月玩玩哑铃吧，否则长期的不锻炼，会让那天的效果大打折扣的。再 比如约MM去唱歌，难道你就不能提前练上几首，甚至背上几首，试想你唱出一首可以乱真的《吻别》，和唱出一首跑调的《老鼠爱大米》，结果会有什么样的不 同。
总之谈恋爱和工作一样，态度决定一切。

失  恋

这是一个很伤感的词，每个人都可能遇到。其实碰到过也是一种很可贵的经历，一辈子只有快乐，没有痛苦，又如何知道快乐其实真的很快乐。

怎么会失恋我不管，我也管不了，我想谈的是失恋后怎么办。

失恋最好的良药是时间，像我，十几年前的失恋，我现在早已经忘记了痛苦是什么感觉，而只记得曾经的美好。不过若只说时间可以解决问题的确有敷衍之嫌。失恋后，如何振作起来，很是重要的。

失恋后，一定要搞清楚，自己哪出了问题。别告诉我一切都是对方的错，一个巴掌是拍不响的，自己如果足够好，人家又何必要离你而去。

然后，努力增强自我修养。我觉得“只要把自己修炼成精，和谁在一起都是幸福人生。”（伍迷原创）。改变自己总是比改变别人来得容易，可惜太多的人都 希望别人改变，而不让自己改变。据说，林肯，苏格拉底都有一个很凶悍的夫人，可这并不影响他们成为最了不起的伟人。你要是真的性格很好，其实是可以和任何 人生活在一起都能幸福的。

接着，把力气花在努力学习和工作上吧，要放话出去，“没选择我，你迟早要后悔的”。这当然是气话，不过当你真的功成名就，哪怕对方不后悔，你也已经 化疼为乐了。何乐而不为呢？男人吗，事业有成还是很重要的。尽管真的成功了才有人喜欢，那情感中就免不了有俗套的成份，但事业一无所成却指望人家铁了心的 跟你，似乎也说不过去。

还有一招，不算好，但却有效。赶快再找一个目标，分散自己关注的焦点，也许，你会发现，原来舍你而去的MM其实也并非那么的优秀，而你从未关注的MM其实有很多优点你没发现。

结  婚

今天4月23日刚好是我结婚三周年纪念日。回想三年前的今天，阳光明媚，春意阑珊。从老婆娘家把她接到我们的新房时，家住无电梯的六楼，我背上老婆 一口气就冲了上去，我外婆看到都吓了一跳，哪有这么傻的小子。在司仪让我为老婆唱首歌时，我搞笑的唱出了“村里有个姑娘叫小芳”的歌词，全场大笑。晚上忙 着数红包，却发现多出两个，不知谁送的，冥思苦想睡不着觉。哈哈，当时的一切都是那么的美好。啊，得意忘形了，言归正传。

我觉得，应该以最终结婚为目的去恋爱。玩弄感情绝对是不可以。或许我很传统，但我还是觉得真诚的去恋爱，然后找到合适的另一半结婚才是美好的人生。

结婚需要很多准备的，比如最头痛的房子，或者更直接一点，就是钱。我无法想像没有钱如何结婚，但这一关迟早是要过的。这在人口众多的中国，是没法逃避的问题。

既然没法逃避，那么在有居安思危的心态基础上，踏踏实实走好每一步也是必须的。所以希望你能从现在开始，努力在结婚前，事业上有点成绩，腰包里有点钞票，别到了最后，只能伸手向父母要，这实在不是有识青年该做的事。

结婚还是两个人生活习惯融合的问题，想想你习惯了二十几年的东西需要改变，是多么的困难。别以为结婚就是两个人住在一起那么简单，在爱情甜蜜之后， 更多的是比接口、抽象类、委托、事件、指针、堆栈等等更加繁琐的锅碗瓢盆油盐酱醋茶买汰扫等等家务事。而这些也是生活中很重要的一部分。你需要有这个心理 准备。
结婚之后，当然是生子，不过我这个做了三个月爸爸的中年人给你的建议是，不要刚结婚就生孩子，那样的话，你的婚姻将少了太多的乐趣，因为生活重心将不是你们自己，而全部给了孩子。

写着写着，发现自己废话渐多，思维枯竭，难道真的老了？不对呀，我记得谭咏麟还吹着自己永远25岁，我怎么能算老呢！算了，就到这吧，以上只不过是 我作为过来人发表的一些感想，算是对将要过五四朋友的建议。也未必就都是对的，只代表我个人的看法。总之，岁月凶残，敬请珍惜，五四快乐！

Generation B
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By MICHAEL WINERIP
Published: April 3, 2009

AS I reach my late-middle 50s, I am, for the first time, feeling old.I don’t mean physically old. I have aches and pains, but I’ve been blessed. My health has been good and I jog my regular four miles at about the same pace I have for the last 25 years. (Very slow is an easily sustainable speed.)

Nor am I talking about being regarded as old. That’s been going on for a long time. I have four children ages 14 to 20, and once they hit the teenage years, a primary purpose in their lives has been to tear their once-godlike Dad down to bite-size.

At first, this was blatant. Spring would arrive, we’d be out at the ball field once again, I’d be hitting them flies, and the three boys would be edging toward me, yelling, “Remember when you used to hit them far, Dad? Remember that, Dad?” With time, demeaning Dad has become more refined. Ben, my oldest, was home from college for spring
break recently, and we sat together on a couch watching a late-night N.C.A.A. playoff game. Quietly, he started stroking what wispy hair remains atop my head.

“Thanks,” I said, “I enjoy being degraded.”

“What?” Ben said. “What did I do?”

But the old that I’m feeling lately is not being foisted on me by my hilarious children; it comes from within: I’m getting out of date, and I don’t care.

I was at my 14-year-old daughter Annie’s volleyball game recently. It was 10 minutes before starting time, one of the girls wasn’t there and we were in danger of forfeiting. “I left my cellphone in the car,” I told our coach. “Give me yours and I’ll call the girl.” The coach handed me a phone with so many rows of teeny-weeny keys, I couldn’t tell which were the ones you press to phone somebody. I ran to my car, got my cellphone — which I’d picked out specifically because it didn’t do too much — and made the call.

Somewhere between the cellphone and BlackBerry, I stopped. I pay my bills by mail, not online. I listen to music on a CD, not an iPod. I e-mail, I don’t I.M. or friend people on Facebook or Twitter.

My twins, Sam and Adam, college freshmen, have informed me that if I call their cellphones and they don’t answer, I am not to leave a voice message. It takes too long for them to access. They are way too busy there at college. I’m supposed to hang up and they’ll know it’s me by the “Missed Call” signal. They will then call back when they are not so incredibly busy there at college.

Better yet, I should text them.

I know several parents who have taken up texting their kids for just this reason.

My feeling on this is, forget that. I’m paying for their phones. For that matter, I’m paying for college. I don’t need to text; they need to make time from their very busy lives there at college to listen to Dad’s 10-second voice mail message.

My wife, Sandy, isn’t this way. She is up-to-the-minute. She has a BlackBerry and a Kindle; she texts, she’s on Facebook, she has an iPod. She was very nice about explaining to me what Twittering is — kind of a high-tech haiku, I gather.

While I’m still being startled awake by our clock radio, her morning alarm is a heavenly chiming sound coming from one of those remarkable little electronic things, which, unfortunately, is often buried at the bottom of her pocketbook in the living room, two floors below our bedroom.

After a long day at work at a computer, she’ll come home and go to Facebook. “I just heard from a girl I haven’t seen since kindergarten,” she’ll shout to me. “She wants to know if I’m still athletic.”

I think of kindergarten as a dark, confusing time, best not revisited.

I don’t know if this is an age difference: Sandy is eight years younger. Or a temperament difference: she’s much handier than I am, loves gadgets. Or an existential difference: she expects things to go right, and is angry and disappointed when they don’t. I’m amazed if anything in life goes right.

The new technology is easy to mock. But it is surely coming, always has been and always will be. And before you know it, what seemed like the latest annoying contrivance will be essential. A lot of it is remarkable. Through Facebook, Ben posted photos of himself surfing in Australia last winter, and because Annie had friended him, I sat in our den each night and saw where my son had spent that day on the other side of the world.

Even as I joke and resist, I know it is the beginning of my being left behind. And yet — and this is the old part — I’m having trouble making myself care. It’s in my best interest to care, but I don’t.

I didn’t want a cellphone, didn’t want to be reachable anywhere, anytime. But at some point, critical mass had been reached in our society and it wouldn’t be acceptable for a reporter not to have one.

A few years back I was talking by phone to one of my journalistic heroes, Nat Hentoff, and asked for his e-mail address. I was surprised when he said he didn’t do e-mail. How, I wondered, could a reporter not, and I thought of that again, in January, when I heard that Mr. Hentoff, at 83, had been let go by the Village Voice after 50 years.

As I sit here on the cusp between late-mid 50s and late 50s, I think of all the technological changes I’ve seen. In the 1970s, as an eastern Kentucky correspondent for The Courier-Journal of Louisville, I traveled Appalachia using one of the first portable computers — a Teleram that weighed 50 pounds and could transmit seven inches of copy at a time, via telephone.

Some progress is progress, but as you get old, you come to feel, a lot is just change; no better, maybe worse. Years ago on a Saturday morning, I was watching the kids at a swim team practice with a friend who is in the carpet business. He had one of those new mobile phones that was just becoming fashionable, and the thing just kept ringing. Finally I asked how he could have so many emergencies in one morning.

“Mike,” he said, “there’s no such thing as a carpet emergency.”

He’d joined the 24/7 age. I hadn’t yet arrived. Lucky me.

I watched my mother, who died a few years ago at 92, lose interest in the next new thing. She’d been born with radio. TV — particularly color TV — was more than she’d ever expected to see in her lifetime, and I couldn’t get her past that. She couldn’t see the point in cable beyond basic, because all she needed were three TV stations. Couldn’t see the point of the DVD player my brother got her, since the three TV stations had movies. Didn’t need a CD player since the radio had music. Each time I’d try, she’d resist and I’d get angry.

I thought it was her stubbornness that made me mad, but in retrospect, maybe I was mad she was getting old.

Now that I’ve started the process myself, I understand better. I was born when TV stations ran test patterns from midnight to 6 a.m.
E-mail, the cellphone, 400 cable channels — it’s more than I ever expected to see in my lifetime. It’s more than enough. As my mother used to say, how much information does one person need?

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How many roads must a man walk down, Before they call him a man?
How many seas must a white dove sail, Before she sleeps in the sand?
How many times must cannonballs fly, Before they're forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.
The answer is blowing in the wind.

How many years must a mountain exist, Before it's washed to the sea?
How many years can some people exist, Before they're allowed to be free?
How many times can a man turn his head, Pretend that he just doesn't see?
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.
The answer is blowing in the wind.

How many times must a man look up, Before he can see the sky?
How many ears must one man have, Before he can hear people cry?
How many deaths will it take till he knows that too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind .
The answer is blowing in the wind.
The answer is blowing in the wind.

以往都是很宅，出去补办手机卡成了一个今天自己必须出门的理由，因为昨天已经发现离的最近的那个移动服务厅被大大的手机商铺取代而白去一次，回来在网上查了几个移动服务厅的位置，发现这些位置反正是要坐公交的了，于是决定还是去学校里面这个，顺路再看一看曾经熟悉的地方，已经很久没回校园看看了。
不到半个小时就到了学校正门附近的车站，相对东门的车站比较陌生的感觉，因为在广州学校两年的时间里，几乎全是在东门口进去而从没有从正门的车站下过车。
进了学校走在中央大道上，从来广州起就一直认为这段路是很有感觉的一段路，在两侧高大的而又沧桑的老树的掩映下，在深邃幽静的环境衬托下，每次都会有那么种无法言表的感觉浮在心中。
径直去了那个几乎是隐藏在角落的营业厅，里面除了两个值班的MM外再没其他人，MM热情的帮助办理了一个新的卡片。（原谅我回想下里面应该是还有一个GG的，被记忆默认选择性的忽略掉了）
本以为毕业后的校园卡进图书馆要登记之类的，没想到直接刷卡畅行无阻，这点相比较下中大是真的挺厚道的了。后面去食堂吃饭也证明了这点，校园卡里的电子钱包功能也一切依旧，吃饭、小卖部刷校园卡、校园里的终端查询功能都没有改变。
吃完饭再回到图书馆，再次坐回熟悉的靠窗的位置，再次像以前一样“不务正业”的看了两本杂志，再次在这寂静的环境里胡思乱想。
走在校园里，濛濛的毛毛雨，清凉的风，一片片连在一起的嫩嫩的、欣欣向荣的绿色，是自己喜欢的天气和景色……
一个高中的同学也在附近，就在学校外面临时租了房子准备这月十四号的中大博士生招生考试，本想过去找她，再想算了，现在正是备考的关键时间，就不去打扰了，祝福她能成功！